Hayley Reaches Her ‘Breaking Point’ With Dani and Ashley Puts Andre in His Place 1

Dani’s disco nap turns into a disco nightmare when she wakes up hungover on Bill and Hayley’s couch, completely unaware that the couple is coming home early from their honeymoon.

In a panic, Dani reaches out to Pamela, her “oldest and dearest friend in the whole world,” who helps restore Bill and Hayley’s wrecked living room back to its former glory… for the most part. The bow on the new wine bottle isn’t quite right, and the replacement picture frame isn’t a perfect match, but we’re not too worried — it feels like these two have done this many times before.

Dani and Pamela indeed make it out before Bill and Hayley return, but it’s no use. The new (and apparently eagle-eyed) Mrs. Hamilton immediately senses a disturbance in the living room.

Not only was the photo was the moved and scratched, but the inscription is missing from their wine bottle and their security system was inexplicably disarmed. This can mean only one thing, Hayley says: “That bitch broke in here!”

Hayley Fires a Warning Shot (So to Speak) at Dani

Before Bill can even react, Hayley volunteers to channel her inner Olivia Pope and handle this one personally — and handle it she does. Hayley marches over to Dani’s house, dropping little hints like “I know it’s impolite to just drop by” and “no one likes a rude surprise.”

Then she decides to skip the hints and take a more direct approach, picking up a framed photo of a meaningful cover from Dani’s modeling days. “Oops!” Hayley says as she drops it to the floor. Dani is gobsmacked. “Are you crazy?” she asks, setting Hayley up for a perfect response: “One of us sure is. And the crazy ends now if you know what’s good for you.”

“I know you were in my house, bitch,” Hayley says, calling Dani “entitled” and “petty” as she finally reaches her breaking point. “Stay away, Dani. Stay far away and stop dwelling on us. It’s only making you look like the pathetic witch that you are.”

She says that Dani has become the villain of their story. and everyone will soon see her for the “wack job” that she really is. Dani plays dumb, denying ever going to her house, but Hayley isn’t fooled. “Don’t try me again, Dani,” she adds. “You don’t want to see what happens when you do.”

“We can breathe easy,” Hayley tells Bill when she returns home. “Your evil ex won’t be bothering us anymore.” (Oh, she won’t? Unless this is the series finale, we know that isn’t true.)

Ashley Shuts Andre Down, Loves Up Derek

Over at Garland Memorial Hospital, Ashley is simply reeling from Andre’s apparent attempt to kiss her. What was he thinking? Did a ceiling collapse on his head, too?

“I’m sorry,” Andre says, acknowledging that his behavior was “out of line.” Ashley also takes a breath, recognizing that she’s overreacting because nothing actually happened… yet!

Right on cue, Derek wheels up behind Ashley to remind his girlfriend how much he loves her. (Hey, at least he remembered her name this time!) She takes him to her place for some after-hours nursing to, uh, expedite the healing process. Needless to say, he passes the strength test with flying colors.

Nicole Gives Andre Some Free Therapy

Following the close call at Nicole’s gala, she asks Eva to track down one of the servers. Sherry Carter, maybe you’ve heard of her? Blonde hair, beautiful smile, suspiciously menacing drawl? Ted tries to talk Nicole out of looking into this woman, but only so she won’t learn about “Sherry” and Ted’s sordid past.

Andre shows up to drop off pictures from the gala, but it soon becomes clear that he’s really there to talk about Ashley. Nicole isn’t thrilled to hear he almost kissed her, confirming that she has every right to be angry with him. “I hope you’re not here to get permission to pursue her, because you’re not going to get it from me,” Nicole says, reminding him that Ashley and Derek are deeply committed to one another.

Andre wonders where “all these crazy attractions” are coming from, and Nicole sets him straight: “You need someone to tell you that you need to stay away from Ashley. No matter what impulse you’re feeling, you know you’re wrong.”

Speaking of strange impulses, Andre ends up back at Dani’s for another late-night rendezvous, but with so much on both of their minds, it turns into an emotional cuddle sesh. We never thought we’d see the day.

Martin and Smitty Come to an Agreement

Meanwhile, Martin and Smitty are living their own episode of Fathers Know Best, having a frank conversation with their daughter about why they don’t allow her to date boys — or “horny little bastards,” as Martin calls them. Samantha eventually wears them them down enough to reopen the possibility of her dating, which is good enough for her.

Martin and Smitty also sense that something is bothering Tyrell, who admits that he’s struggling in math class. Or is there… something more going on there? Come on, who in this family doesn’t have a secret?