Dani Drinks Up a Nasty Surprise for Bill and Hayley — Plus, Kat’s Confession Leaves Tomás Speechless 2

“My business is mine alone, and I don’t want to discuss is because I’m afraid of jinxing it,” she tells the family, promising that her plans have nothing to do with Bill and Hayley (aka “The Shamiltons”). When no one believes her, Dani reveals that she’s meeting with a big-time designer about partnering for Chelsea’s fashion show.

But Nicole still isn’t convinced that Dani has put Bill and Hayley behind her, and she has good reason to worry, considering Dani is actually headed straight for the happy couple’s doorstep. Package in hand, she tells their security guard George that it’s merely a wedding present — not a gun or a bomb, she swears!

“All I want is a fresh start, and for them to really know how I feel about their union,” she says. “And to give them something they’ll never forget.” At this point, we believe that it isn’t a weapon in the traditional sense, but there’s definitely something fishy about that package.

Against his better judgment, George gives Dani the security code to enter Bill and Hayley’s house. And right on cue, we see Bill and Hayley in a limo; they had to cut their honeymoon short, and they’re now headed straight to home from the airport. There’s absolutely no way this can end well.

Dani Makes A(nother) Drunken Mistake

Dani, for whatever reason, decides that it’s a good idea to crack open a bottle of wine — the same one Bill gave her when they got married. She was hoping to open it on their 50th wedding anniversary, but as she asks herself aloud, “Why wait to celebrate?” So she pops it open and starts treating herself in the middle of Bill and Hayley’s living room, blissfully unaware that they’re on their way home.

In fact, she’s so unaware that she decides to treat herself to a little disco nap on their couch. And this is after she uses the wine bottle to break a framed photo of Bill and Hayley. She’s also blissfully unaware that George’s next is Dupree Manor, where he reveals Dani’s whereabouts to Vernon and Anita.

The question is: Who will get to Dani first — Anita and Vernon or Bill and Hayley?

Derek Gets Catty Over Andre

Elsewhere at the hospital, Ashley is playing nurse (or just… being a nurse) with Derek, who is still recovering from his recent concussion. They’re interrupted by Andre, who says that a reporter wants to write about Derek’s daring rescue, and he starts snapping photos of the memory-impaired firefighter whether he likes it or not. And when Ashley asks if she should move out of the shot, Andre replies, “It’s better with you in it.” Honestly, we’re wondering if this even for a real article, or if Andre is just coming up with more excuses to take pictures of Ashley.

“That was no nice of Andre,” Ashley later says, to which Derek says what we’re all thinking: “If you say so.” She asks her boyfriend for clarification, but he plays the amnesia card, claiming he doesn’t even remember saying it.

Speaking of things he doesn’t remember, a sweet old lady shows up in his room to thank him for saving her cat. She can’t believe Derek would run into a burning building when he knew the ceiling was about to collapse… and neither can Ashley. She says it’s out of character for him to take such a huge risk, implying that something must be eating at him.

If only Ashley could see into his dreams, she’d know that Derek is worried about Andre stealing her away from him… and taking the old lady’s cat with her!

Kat Cooks Up a Surprise for Tomás

Back at the Richardsons’ house, Kat is sinking her claws into Bill’s hot co-worker Tomás. She grills him about what it’s like having Bill for a boss, making it clear that saying she hates her uncle would be an “understatement.”

Tomás attempts to sway her opinion by letting her know that Bill gave him his blessing to pursue Kat, but she isn’t budging. Despite their differing opinions about Bill, and that Kat lied about cooking the dinner, their date is a success.

He even boldly asks her about her bed at home, which prompts a confession he definitely wasn’t expecting: she’s a virgin.